This week went well. Elder Manning and I got sick and so that was fun to work through. Be it for better or worse we don't take sick days. I just cant bring myself to stay inside for a full day and so far nothing has hit me hard enough to keep me from walking. I have had my companions make me come in early but we have still made it out every day to find and teach somebody. We watched conference in Lithuanian with the branch on Sunday. It is funny how as a missionary out here you have to be ready to do everything. I laughed to myself when it seemed so normal to have to set up all the equipment for conference. I always remember seeing all the media equipment in the church for conferences and things and just being amazed at whoever did all that. Our church just rocks. This is the first day of the transfer. we find out who we are with in the next day or two. I have a lot of interesting feelings. I think an experience I had last night wraps up how I feel right now. I had an image of myself last night sitting on our front porch on the steps. I remember how the air felt and smelt and how i felt before my mission when I was home in November 2008. Even though It felt nice to feel the feelings of home, in the image I saw myself start crying because I realized how far away Lithuania was. This entire world with all its people and way of life as a missionary was so far away. It wasn't a welcoming thought but I am glad i had it. I am glad because in entering my last transfer as a missionary I have thought a lot about how is the best way to end a mission such as this. It's never hard to go outside and work so that's not even an issue. But more of my attitude in the whole process. I have come to the conclusion that we must serve where we stand and see things how they really are. I can't just straight up ignore what is going to happen next month but I shouldn't dwell on it. Talking about definitely doesn't help anybody especially the person I am most likely talking to. But like Dad said before I left, "I know you are where the Lord wants you so why would I be sad? I wouldn't want you anywhere else." That is how I feel. I am where the Lord wants me so I am not sad. It was hard to say goodbye to you all but it wasn't more than I could handle and the same it is with leaving this place that I love. If I will be where the Lord wants me then I should be happy. All I can do right now is work while I have the call until there is nothing left to give. If I can do that then I will be truly happy. Don't worry about me finishing hard, it will all be left on the mat, I promise.
I am glad you liked the things I sent. I wish I could buy you everything out here. I can't, nor will I ever be able, to express how deeply grateful I am for everything you all have done for me. Especially Mom and Dad who I know could be buying a thousand different things but yet insist on giving me the best life has to offer. Monetarily and in every other way possible. I am also very grateful for Grandma and Grandpa Cooke who live providently so they can help support all their grand kids. I don't feel worthy to any extent of such sacrifices. Elder Holland hit my feelings right on the head in his talk in Conference. Not only do I have monetary support but all the other type of support possible from siblings, cousins, friends and people I don't even know who get on their knees every night and pray for our relatively small but powerful force of missionaries. The support that I cannot even begin to scratch the surface of its depth and value is the constant support of my Father in heaven and my Savior Jesus Christ. I do not feel myself worthy to receive anything more from them. Even when I feel I am not worthy to ask a single thing through prayer. Every time I ask, I have received an answer to my prayer in one way or another. Even when I am driving myself down with bad habits and sin Christ, in his mercy and in the power of his endless atonement, deems me worthy to receive his guidance, council and support. He always does if we come to him in faith and humility. If we are trying as much as we are able in our own capacity to keep the letter and spirit of Gods commandments, then we will feel the cleansing and edifying power of the Holy Spirit and we will have the sustenance to keep going. Always remember that you always have enough to keep going. God promised it. I love you all so much. I miss you dearly but not enough to leave the work just yet.
Laikykites, Elder Cooke
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